"Relationships"
(5 Easy Steps to Maintaining that Honey)
The other day, I was sitting with a mix of friends where some were single and some were in serious relationships. Throughout the night we tried to understand the mine field known as "relationships". Are there areas that you must be mindful of regardless of whether you are trying to find that special someone or to stay with him/her? Surprisingly, the games are still in effect even though the waters seem a bit murky the longer you have been with someone. So I decided to jot down the top 5 'Keep in Mind' areas that should be on your list regardless of your state.
Keep in Mind #! - Everyone Loves Attention and Knowing That They are Wanted
When you meet someone, you always make sure that you ask plenty of questions, maintain eye contact and you always give them physical contact such as hugs or something to let them know that even in the midst of people they are definitely of interest to you. In fact, you may even provide a smile or say little comments that let him/her know that they make you special and you love being around them. This should not change even when you stay with him/her longer. Keep asking those questions and offering your assistance (although you know how much is too much). Give more of those knowing smiles, cute taps on the arm while in public and more. This lets them know that you still want them as much as you saw them.
Keep in Mind #2 - Absence in Fact Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Less is definitely more, when you meet someone new - as much as you want to get in touch with them you fight it. This way the person misses you and wants to see you and you know that you have something worth building on. Being around someone 24/7 sounds great in theory; however, people feel that the more you're around they have less time to be with themselves or to hang out with friends. In addition, you may feel that you are not being treated as special as you once were. This is still true the longer you have been with someone. On a recent trip to LA, I missed my boyfriend and was glad that he called me daily and once I got home, we enjoyed talking about our week. Even when we are in the city it's nice to have personal time and to hang out with my friends and to work freely. Each time we are able to hang out it's always nice to have something new to talk about.
Keep in Mind #3 - Peeping Tom's Need Not Apply
Privacy is essential to have a happy medium. We all know that when we first go over to Mr Rights home, we delve into the guilty pleasures of peeping through medicine cabinets, the fridge and anywhere else where we have probable cause! But areas that are completely off limits include emails (even when the inbox is open), Palms, cellphones and more. This is serious stuff that lets you know the inner workings of the person and who they really are. Although this is definitely a great resource, if you haven't been asked, don't even think about it. This still holds true when you have been together for a few years as well. My honey never goes in my purse without permission, going through my text messages are a no no and don't even think about peeking at his emails over his shoulder. This is not just about space, it's a matter of privacy. As you get to know one another more you will obtain admission but then again - you have to respect some sort of borders.
Keep in Mind #4 - Frustrations are Always A Possibility
The long silences out of no where, temporary brooding over nothing, the occassional shut outs - whatever you call them, they happen and it's annoying. You may have gotten the silent treatment for something and then all of a sudden everything is ok and you have no idea how it happened and are expected to be cool with it. These unexplainable things happen when you just meet people and you wonder why you didn't get the phone call or why the date ended up as being a dud. This happens too even when you are with your special guy/gal. Know that if it is a random occurrance, this will pass. If it keeps up, you may need to examine the relationship regardless of the time you have been together.
Keep in Mind #5 - What You See is Usually What You Get
If you met him and he loved to hang out with his friends and he makes sure he gets friend time, time with you and then combines the two - this will still happen. If you loved him for his rebel attitude, that will still be there years down the road. How you got him/her is definitely how he will be. Don't let what you fell in love with be turned into what irks you! Whether this is date 1 or year 4 people tend to not change but continue to grow into that direction. Of course we learn a few things and pick up on some items but that's that. Make sure you know what you are getting into to.
As always, relationships evolve and change, you learn more about yourself and what it is that you want. Having one or finding one doesn't mean that you have to disengage from your friends regardless of where they are. But it does mean that you probably have a lot in common with them no matter where they are in the relationship cycle. For those that are just starting out, the summer is the best time too - great weather, slushies and ice cream to share and more. For those that have been involved for a long time - there are great ways to bring new additions into your relationships with new shopping, restaurants, favorites and more. Finally for those that are just scoping the scene the summer is the best time to check out all the cuties and join them on outdoor beer gardens, Central Park - happy hunting and everyone keep the rules in mind!
Much Love
Kimmie
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