Dating in the City
(Falling in Love Pt 1)
Oh how lovely life in the city can be! There’s always something to do and people to see. But for many people, dating in the city can be a difficult and arduous task. So, what’s going on here? Why in a city with such great odds and potential, is it so hard to find Mr. Or Ms. Right?
Well we questioned many people, and found a couple of recurring answers. The biggest issue that single New Yorkers face is safety. In a city where finding an eccentric personality is about as likely as finding a Starbucks, it’s easy to keep your guard up! And of course this defense mechanism makes good sense, but also prevents us from taking the first step towards meeting new people.
Fortunately, there’s still hope! Call it ingenuity or your local lounge’s way of capitalizing on the singles’ dollar, but many places host singles events or nights. Sure, it might seem hokey, but even if you don’t meet Mr. Or Ms. Right, you’ll be honing your dating skills while you get out and have some fun.
The next big issue (and this tends to affect women more than men and is a nationwide issue): going out in a group , and leaving in a group. Most single ladies have been taught since college that when out for a night on the town, there’s safety in numbers. And we couldn’t agree more!
Of course, safety is very important and you should definitely watch your friend’s back (and the reverse). But that certainly doesn’t mean that you have to act like glue during the hours between entrance and exit. A gaggle of girls is low on a man’s list of “must meets” for the evening. Introducing yourself to a woman that you don’t know can be a daunting task for a man. And since no one likes to be rejected, how much less would you want to be rejected in front of a group with plenty of eye witnesses?!
So what should you do? Be willing to break away from the gaggle of girls and appear independent as well as confident. If a guy that you find interesting approaches you, don’t feel like you have to refuse him just because your girls are having no luck.
And one of the other biggest factors that prevent many singles from finding a mate is body language. Whether you’re giving off vibes of depseration or the feeling that you’d rather be anywhere but out in a public place, you’re sending out the wrong message. Half of catching and keeping someone’s attention is through non verbal communication. It’s pretty slim that someone who has an “I’m angry at the world” look on their face is going to encourage anyone to approach them. And anyone who does should be given a reward.
The remedy? Become more approachable, and less like a poster child for lonliness. It’s a novel concept, but try smiling, and uncross your arms. Crossed arms and frowns are definite signs of an unapproachable and possibly hostile person and are a definite way to stay single. In reverse, being an eager beaver can be a turn off as well. Coming across as someone who hasn’t had a date in a very long time is a sure way to maintain your single status as well! So, when you’re out, relax and just have a good time. You’ll find that more people will respond positively to your new found confidence!
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